Frequently Asked Questions

Err yes, but we have all ‘Floated an Air Biscuit’ or two in our time, and those around us are unpleasantly aware of the noxious content of such Bottom Burps… As we all know nowadays, greenhouse gas emissions are real and anything we can do to reduce their impact helps the planet.  

Don’t over think it!  You give a personalised gift certificate (to frame and hang on a wall or stick inside a Birthday Card?); a tree gets planted AND it’s funny! 

For anyone who ‘Instinktively’ seeks further information, here is the boring bit…. 

Composition of flatus – It may contain odourless gases, such as nitrogen, oxygen, hydrogen, carbon dioxide and methane, but a portion includes hydrogen sulphide, which causes it smell like rotten eggs. Think of hydrogen sulphide as the waste product of the microbes helping you digest the indigestible.   

In one study, hydrogen sulphide concentration was shown to correlate convincingly with the perceived bad odour of flatus, followed by methyl mercaptan and dimethyl sulphide.[22] This is supported by the fact that hydrogen sulphide may be the most abundant volatile sulphur compound present. These results were generated from subjects who were eating a diet high in pinto beans to stimulate flatus production. 

Methane and hydrogen are flammable, and so flatus can be ignited if it contains adequate amounts of these components. Hilarity often ensues! – See FAQ 4 for ensuring the fullest use of your personal emissions (zero waste initiative). 

N.B. – Humour may be subjective, but a fart joke is always funny! 

We work with our Scottish Crofting Partners, planting native, predominantly broadleaf trees in a re-wilding scheme.  

We plant the trees in blocks of 100, creating mixed species woodland that is good for wildlife, forest health and biodiversity. 

We plant a variety of Silver and Downy Birch, Wild Cherry (Gean), Oak, Scots Pine (An evergreen conifer of great beauty – in the past it was used for ships’ masts) and other native species such Ash, Hazel, Willow, and Rowan where available. 

Some people are notoriously difficult to buy gifts for as they have everything. 

The Personalised certificate can be: 

• Emailed directly to the person you are buying the gift for to display Loud and Proud on their phone (21st C whizz kids) 
• Printed by you and added into a Birthday / Christmas / Father’s Day Card which will cause hilarity (or occasionally revulsion) when opened by your loved-one, on that special day. 

Don’t resort to buying them more Boxer Shorts (unless they are carbon filtering of course)? 

See https://www.stressnomore.co.uk/shreddies-flatulence-filtering-underwear-for-men. 

Help fight the climate crisis 

By removing CO2 from the atmosphere and locking it up, trees help to combat climate change. Recent studies have found that trees may be the best way to stabilise our climate. 

Trees clean the air 

Humans breathe in oxygen and breathe out carbon dioxide, trees do the reverse – cleaning the air that we breathe. Trees also absorb pollutants such as nitrogen oxides, ammonia, sulphur dioxide and ozone.  

Since we started Carbon Fartprint, we have been working to offset our own emissions. We are working towards being a fully carbon neutral organisation. We have already planted numerous trees as part of this goal. We are working towards our website hosting and services being completely carbon neutral by 2024. We have also planted trees for ourselves to offset our own personal emissions.  

Ooh, I had fun with this one. The flammable parts of farts are largely methane and hydrogen. Here’s the combustion reaction for methane: 

CH4(g)+2O2(g)⟶CO2(g)+2H2O(l)CH4(g)+2O2(g)⟶CO2(g)+2H2O(l) 

 And here it is for hydrogen: 

2H2(g)+O2(g)⟶2H2O(l)2H2(g)+O2(g)⟶2H2O(l) 

(Hopefully that LaTeX syntax is right this time.) 

These two gases are flammable, so it’s no surprise that your farts will be, as well. (Interesting fact: apparently only about half of humans have the necessary Archaea in their gut to produce methane, so about half of humanity will produce blue flames from methane-containing farts and half will produce yellower flames, from the hydrogen only.) But how flammable, exactly? 

Assuming that farts are entirely hydrogen and methane in a somewhat arbitrary ratio of 5:1 (taken from here), we can compute the amount of heat released in the combustion of a fart that contains, oh, I dunno, a litre of gas. (I made up that number. I don’t know if anyone’s ever measured the average amount of gas in a single fart). By the ideal gas law, PV = nRT, we can calculate that the number of moles of gas in the fart, given a pressure of 1 atm (which it is shortly after the fart is expelled) and a temperature of 300 K, must be about 0.041 moles, which means 0.0068 moles of methane and 0.0338 moles of hydrogen gas. 

The heat from the combustion of one mole of methane is about 890 kJ, and the heat from the combustion of one mole of hydrogen is about 286 kJ. Multiplying by the number of moles and summing, we get that the heat released from a one-litre fart is 15.7 kJ, which is about the same amount of energy you’d get from eating 10 Cheerios (original, not honey nut). 

Is it likely that fart-lighting, or pyro flatulence, in western culture did not predate the invention of the friction match in 1816? 

I’d disagree with the premise. 

I am fortunate enough to have witnessed the talents of Ronan O’Kane and “Stinky” O’Keefe, the all-Ireland fart – lighting champion of 1983. 

Competitive fart lighters do not use matches, it takes too much co-ordination to put a match to your fart source. The match tends to go out. 

Fart-lighters train extensively to remove their fear of flame by standing over an open fire. This practice is believed to date back to Roman prostitutes who kept themselves warm this way when trade was slow. 

They never wear underwear and often shave their pubic hair. Competitive fart enthusiasts always use a new candle to prevent cheating. They always must wipe themselves with a towel beforehand, to prevent cheating: historically some people used to place whisky on their anus to create a more dramatic effect. Arse towels from major meets are autographed by the competitors and are highly prized collectables. 

Celtic farters have always put the secret to the quality of their gas down to Guinness and cabbage. Competitors must stand on one leg and use a candle, professional judges then give marks for artistic merit, noise, and smell. 
Most purists frown on flatulent acrobatics, where contortionists light farts in gymnastic poses, which is a modern variation of the ancient art. 

Fart-lighting is believed to have started in Rome although no records survive, however farts do feature in Saxon folklore. People are aware of the Miller’s tale, which involved the poor Miller being “outfarted by a woman” and farting at various objects until he could topple bricks. The Summoner also had his own fart tricks. 

I would suggest that fart lighting would have been part of religious festivals by pagans way back to Viking times. Finland does claim to have the oldest event on the Calendar the Jättiläinen pieru tulipalot, (Grand fart-fire) although there are others (notably the Swedes who dispute this.) 

Women were banned from competitions until relatively recently. Motorbike Mandy led a campaign to have women included: originally to prevent the event leading to claims of pornography women competed in specially designed underwear, which allowed them to pass gas without being undignified. However, Nordic (naked) fart-lighting for women is now the norm. Women competitors staged protests by throwing their “fart-pants” at the judges. 

Technique and safety 

The act of fart lighting is performed by using a naked flame, such as a lit match, candle, or a cigarette lighter. So widespread is this activity that there are web sites on the Internet devoted exclusively to explaining proper lighting techniques. A major drawback of this popular practice is that it usually involves the hazardous coupling of fire, combustible gases and inebriated participants. Reports of serious burns to body parts are not uncommon but clothing helps to protect one’s skin. Wearing pants – e.g., thick cotton sweatpants – is a good safety precaution. As with all fire stunts, cotton clothes (particularly if damp), or even better wool, are safer than synthetics. The fire point of cotton is 410°F, and it is hard to ignite accidentally. But many common synthetic fabrics, e.g., polyester fleece or nylon pants, can melt to the skin or catch fire. 

Motivations 

Fart lighting has been a novelty practice primarily among young men or college students for decades 

Your Final Warning… ‘Lighting your own stove’ should be performed with the utmost care, however, should you choose to do so, please note: 

Although implosion may be rare, it is something that cannot be entirely discounted.  

Disclaimer, We at Carbon Fartprint take no responsibility for any accidents that may occur when lighting farts – flammable or follow-through (we may chortle though).